{"id":68246,"date":"2026-05-12T08:14:01","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T12:14:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/?p=68246"},"modified":"2026-05-12T08:24:13","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T12:24:13","slug":"therapy-for-leaders-ottawa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/therapy-for-leaders-ottawa\/","title":{"rendered":"The Leadership Trap: Why High Achievers Struggle to Ask for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’ve built a career on being capable, available, and not needing much \u2014 at some point, that stops working. Resiliency Clinic founder Michelle Sorensen<\/a>, registered clinical psychologist, on what makes leadership quietly unsustainable, and what therapy can actually do about it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have built a career by being the person who steps up, the one who says yes, the one others rely on, you already know the shape of the trap. It is not a failure of character. It is, in many ways, a direct consequence of doing everything right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I work with a lot of leaders in my practice. Some are executives. Some are small business owners. Some are the person on the team who everyone quietly depends on, even without the title. What they share is this: they got where they are by being capable, by being available, and by not needing much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, at some point, that stops working.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Leadership Traits That Got You Here<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

High achievers often share a recognizable profile. They raise their hands. They are the first to offer help and the last to ask for it. They absorb most of the pressure so others do not have to. They work evenings and weekends not because they have to, but because it feels irresponsible not to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These qualities are not flaws. They are, in many contexts, genuine strengths. They lead to promotions, to trust, to the kind of reputation that opens doors. The problem is not the traits themselves. The problem is that these same traits, when left unexamined, become a ceiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When your identity is built around being the strong one, it becomes very difficult to delegate. To set a limit. To say, I am not available for that. To admit, even privately, that you are running low.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Shift That Is Actually Hard<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At a certain point in most leadership careers, the work changes. Individual effort stops scaling. What worked in the early stages, doing more, doing it well, staying available, starts to become a liability. The role now requires something different: trusting others, distributing responsibility, and protecting your own capacity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This shift is harder than it looks. Not because leaders lack the intellectual understanding of it. Most leaders I work with know they should delegate more. They know they need boundaries. The difficulty is not conceptual. It is psychological.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Letting go of tasks can feel like letting go of control. Saying no can feel like abandoning your team. Asking for support can feel like confirming a fear you have been quietly carrying: that if people saw the full picture, they might question whether you belong where you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Resentment Is a Signal Worth Listening To<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One thing that often surprises leaders in therapy is how much resentment they are carrying. They do not always name it as resentment at first. It shows up as frustration, exhaustion, a low-grade sense of being under-appreciated, a feeling that they are always giving and rarely receiving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Resentment in this context is not a character problem, rather it is information. <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It tends to emerge when someone has been consistently overriding their own needs in service of others, often with the implicit expectation that this will eventually be noticed and reciprocated. When that reciprocation does not come, or not in the way they imagined, something builds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my clinical experience, resentment that goes unnamed tends to come out in other ways: in sharpness with people you care about, in disengagement from work that used to feel meaningful, or in a kind of exhausted cynicism that is hard to shake. Repressed anger can look like depression. It is worth paying attention to what your resentment is trying to tell you before it reaches that point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Clinique<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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What Sustainable Leadership Actually Looks Like<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sustainable leadership is not about working less. It is about working in a way that does not require you to hollow yourself out to maintain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of what I work on with leaders in therapy:<\/p>\n\n\n\n