June is Canadian Men’s Mental Health Month, which makes it a good time to talk about men’s mental health in Ottawa and the patterns we see in clinical practice. One of the most common patterns: men tend to hold a great deal inside, and they often wait a long time before reaching out for support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The data backs this up. In Canada, men account for roughly 75 percent of suicide deaths, and they die by suicide at close to three times the rate of women (Public Health Agency of Canada<\/a>; Mental Health Commission of Canada<\/a>). Suicide is the second leading cause of death for men aged 15 to 39. These numbers are not meant to alarm, but they do point to what can happen when stress, pain, and pressure stay unaddressed for too long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the clearest patterns we see is irritability showing up where sadness would be. Many men were socialized to believe that emotions like sadness, fear, and hurt are not okay, that showing them is a sign of weakness. Anger is often the one feeling that gets a pass. So the harder emotions do not disappear. They get contained, sometimes for years, until there is nowhere left for them to go and they burst out, often at the people closest to them, or at a stranger in traffic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Anger, and the emotion underneath it, does not always show itself. Just as often it stays low and constant: a short temper, restlessness, working too much, drinking more, pulling away from people, or physical symptoms like trouble sleeping, headaches, or a tight chest. From the outside it may not look like anxiety or depression at all, and many men themselves may not link what they are feeling to their own mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Containment can sometimes work for a period of time. Holding it together can even feel like strength, or look like resilience. But carrying everything alone takes a toll, on the body, on mood, and on a man’s closest relationships, and the people who love him often feel the strain before he puts words to it himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is where it helps to look again at what strength means. The way we think about resilience at Resiliency Clinic is not brute strength but psychological flexibility, the ability to bend rather than break and to bounce back when life gets hard. Holding everything in is a kind of rigidity, and rigidity is what cracks under enough pressure. Reaching out, asking for what you need, and finding ways to adapt are not the opposite of strength. They are what resilience looks like in practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Therapy is a place to pause and think out loud with someone trained to listen, but also to share insights. This can help you figure out what changes need to happen to improve your life and your relationships. There is an active process here, not just listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A good therapist reflects patterns back to you, helps you name what is going on, and works with you to decide what to do about it. For many men, that combination of being heard and moving toward concrete change is what makes therapy feel worth the time. For example, a client may describe his interactions with his spouse, and the therapist could explore other possible interpretations of comments or behaviour that has upset him. A therapist may also need to encourage them to work on ways to \u201cturn towards\u201d those they are close to, rather than withdraw or turn against them. Some men work on communication with their children, especially if differences in parenting approaches are impacting their relationship with their partner, and they end up using these strategies with adults as well. As they listen more, show empathy and practice curiosity, they notice the temperature is lower in their home, and their relationships are evolving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not every man wants the same thing from therapy, and good therapy is shaped around the person in the room, not a stereotype. That said, there are patterns we notice in practice, and they line up with the research on what helps men stay engaged once they start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n None of this means hiding from emotion. It means starting where it feels workable, building some trust, and letting the harder conversations come when you are ready for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may be reading this not for yourself, but for someone you care about: a partner, a father, a brother, a friend, a colleague. If there’s a man in your life who is struggling, this is worth sharing. Sometimes knowing that reaching out is normal, and that it does not require a crisis to be justified, is enough to make the first step feel possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At Resiliency Clinic, our therapists work with men navigating anxiety, burnout, grief, relationship stress, and the weight of holding too much for too long. We offer in-person sessions in Ottawa and virtual sessions across Ontario and Quebec, in English and French. If you are not sure where to start, you can book a free 15-minute consultation<\/a>. It is a low-pressure way to ask questions and see whether working together feels like a fit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This post is not a replacement for professional psychological services. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text <\/em>9-8-8<\/em><\/a>, Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline, available 24 hours a day. In an emergency, call 911.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sources: <\/em>Public Health Agency of Canada, Health Infobase (Suicide and Self-Harm)<\/em><\/a>; <\/em>Mental Health Commission of Canada (Mental Health and Suicide Prevention in Men)<\/em><\/a>; <\/em>Seidler et al., Engaging Men in Psychological Treatment: A Scoping Review (American Journal of Men’s Health, 2018)<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Men’s mental health often shows up as anger and irritability rather than sadness, and many men wait a long time before reaching out. A look at why so much stays inside, what it costs, and how therapy helps men get support.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":68574,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/50"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68389"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68573,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68389\/revisions\/68573"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/68574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resiliencyclinic.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Why so much stays inside<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What we want to say this month<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Therapy is an active process<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What tends to help men feel more comfortable in therapy<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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If there’s a man in your life who is struggling<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Men’s mental health support in Ottawa<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n