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Clinic founder Michelle Sorensen, Clinical Psychologist, shares her reflections on the journey women find themselves on in midlife, and the psychological process that we can help with in therapy at the Resiliency clinic. Therapy is available virtually across Ontario and Quebec, and in person in Ottawa.
“Why am I so irritable during perimenopause?” It’s one of the most common questions we hear at our Ottawa practice. If you’ve found yourself snapping at your family, feeling overwhelmed by work demands, or wondering if something is seriously wrong with you, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.
Perimenopause is often framed as a purely biological process—a shift in hormone levels leading up to menopause—but it can also be a deeply psychological transition. For many women, it’s not just their cycles, hormones and neurochemicals that change; their ensuing emotions, sense of self, and tolerance for certain stressors shift too. And while this dysregulation can feel unsettling, it can also spark a powerful change in midlife.
When the Nervous System Feels “Off”
During perimenopause, fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels can affect neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA. These changes can make women more sensitive to stress, quicker to feel overwhelmed, and less able to push through exhaustion. This can happen before they even realize they are in perimenopause! In psychological terms, their window of tolerance narrows. This is often happening when women have an incredible amount on their plates professionally and personally. For overwhelmed moms in Ottawa juggling teens, aging parents, and demanding careers, this shift can feel particularly intense.
For women who have spent years selflessly giving to others—career, caregiving, relationships—this can be alarming. Suddenly, the strategies that once worked for “holding it all together” no longer do. Mood swings, anxiety spikes, sleep disturbances, and brain fog can leave even the most resilient women feeling off-balance.
Perimenopause Anxiety: What’s Really Happening
If perimenopause is making you anxious—racing thoughts, constant worry, or that familiar knot in your stomach—you’re experiencing a normal response to neurochemical changes. But “normal” doesn’t mean you have to suffer through it alone. Learning to recognize these patterns is the first step toward building resilience during this transition.
Dysregulation as a Catalyst for Change
Here’s the paradox: this very dysregulation often forces a reckoning. When the nervous system “says no,” the body and mind demand adjustments. Many women find themselves reassessing long-held habits:
- Overcommitment no longer feels sustainable… they can start saying no to plans they don’t enjoy or extra tasks at work that are not necessary
- Toxic relationships become harder to tolerate… they realize that change is not just possible, it’s vital to health and well-being
- Neglected needs like rest, nutrition, movement, and joy start to move to the top of the list
In this sense, perimenopause acts like a truth serum—making it harder to ignore what’s draining and easier to recognize what nourishes. The benefits of rest and fun have a ripple effect on others, if their mom/ spouse/ coworker is smiling more and less irritable. Families may take time to adjust but with open communication, they can understand what is happening and welcome the new woman emerging!
The Psychology of Limit-Setting
From a psychological perspective, this is boundary work in its rawest form. Setting limits isn’t just a self-help cliché; it’s a nervous system necessity. The heightened sensitivity of perimenopause can highlight exactly where boundaries are thin or nonexistent.
This might look like:
- Saying “no” to social events that sap energy.
- Requesting more flexibility at work or leaving that time consuming committee.
- Asking for help with household tasks at home.
- Redefining what “good enough” looks like in parenting or partnerships.
Turning Self-Care Into Self-Respect
The self-care that emerges in perimenopause is different from the “bubble bath” version often marketed to women. It’s not indulgent—it’s foundational. It’s about stabilizing the body and mind through consistent, non-negotiable habits:
- Prioritizing sleep over late-night emails.
- Eating in a way that balances blood sugar and supports mood.
- Moving daily, not for weight loss, but for mental clarity and joint health.
- Creating space for creativity, connection, and stillness.
Over time, this shift from self-sacrifice to self-respect can transform not only how women experience perimenopause, but how they live the decades that follow.
Getting Support: Insurance Coverage for Perimenopause Therapy in Ottawa
At Resiliency Clinic, we know that seeking help for overwhelmed moms in Ottawa shouldn’t add financial stress to an already challenging time. If you’re wondering “Is therapy covered by insurance in Ottawa?” the answer is often yes—our team can help you understand your coverage options so you can focus on your healing journey.
A Rite of Passage
Psychologists sometimes describe midlife as a second adolescence—another period of identity revision. Perimenopause is part of that journey, a transformative phase where old coping mechanisms fall away, and new, healthier patterns emerge. While the transition is not without its challenges, it offers a profound opportunity: to live more authentically, aligned with what truly sustains you.
The takeaway? Dysregulation in perimenopause isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a signal. It’s your mind and body’s way of saying: It’s time to tend to yourself. And when women listen, they often emerge from this season not diminished, but more grounded, more self-aware, and more unapologetically themselves. Our Ottawa-based therapists specialize in helping women navigate midlife transitions with evidence-based, resilience-focused approaches that honor both the biological and psychological aspects of this transformation.
Ready to start connecting the dots between your perimenopause experience and your path forward? Book a free 15-minute consultation to explore how we can support you through this powerful season of change.
